Gir's Day Out
by MollyMega
Summary: It was a nice day, and Gir managed to get Zim to take him on a walk. But after some misfortunes, Zim is now stuck in the rain, while Gir is with Dib.
1. Another Boring Day in the Lab

Invader Zim 

Chapter One: Another Boring Day in the Lab 

Disclaimer: No, I didn't make up Zim or any other Invader Zim things. So, don't bug me bout it, alrighty? 

Zim sat in his underground lab in front of a large array of controls. He was in his true Irken form, not dressed up as a human and those itchy lenses. Gir was bouncing off the walls (literally), punctuating each hit with a "whee!" "Gir, would you stop tha- ow!" Zim was cut off as Gir slammed into him. The Irken stood, brushed off, and muttered something about his spine. "Gir, stop that nonsense! If you want to do something, help me think of a way to destroy that...Dib." Zim spat the name out. 

Gir's usually round blue eyes turned red and squinted. "Yes, Master!" But, in seconds, it turned back to its normal self and began to giggle. "Feed him tacos!" Gir suggested while running around in circles. Zim sighed, "That won't work, Gir. Those filthy humans ENJOY eating tacos." Gir looked very confused, "I like eating tacos." 

"I KNOW you do." 

"Does that make me a filthy human?" 

"No." 

"What does it make me?" 

"It makes you a Gir." 

"I'm a Gir. Yay!" Gir began to dance at his newfound identity. Zim just stared before going back and sitting in front of his large terminal. He began to mumble to himself, "If I am to invade Earth, then I must get rid of Dib. He foils all of my plans!" He began to rub one of his antennas. "Taco taco taco." Gir sang, running around Zim's chair. He paused in front of Zim. "I want to go outside." 

"Not now Gir. I'm busy trying to enslave these scummy humans." 

"I want to go outside." 

"Not now Gir!" 

"I want to go outside." 


	2. Dont Drink Gazs Soda

Disclaimer: I don't in anyway at all own Zim, Dib, Gir, Gaz, or any other Invader Zim stuff. It would be cool if I did though.... 

Dib sat stewing in his room, staring blankly at his computer, while sipping at his soda. "Why do Alien traps have to be SO expensive?" He whined, scrolling down the web page. He was trying to find something that would capture Zim, but buying anything off the Internet was expensive. 

"DIB!" Dib cringed, hearing his sister's angry voice from the kitchen. "What Gaz?" He stood, leaving his room and going into the kitchen. Gaz's eyes were wide and burning with anger. "You drank the last soda, AGAIN, didn't you?" She yelled, pointing an accusing finger. Dib frowned, hiding the soda in his hand behind his back. "Uh, no?" 

Gaz screamed, a very long, loud, scream. Dib covered his ears, waiting until she stopped. "Okay, okay, I drank it!" He confessed, his ears still ringing. "Go. Get. More." Gaz bit each word off. "But Gaz, I'm sort of busy." Gaz's left eye began to twitch, as she opened her mouth to scream again. Dib tensed, "Fine, I'll go get your stupid soda." Gaz grinned triumphantly, picking up her Game Slave, and heading back to the couch. Dib grumbled as began to pull on his trench coat, sending glares over at his sister. She ignored them all, and continued to play 


	3. Gir loves the Bakery

Disclaimer: If you don't know this already, I didn't make up Zim or other characters. 

Zim was still wondering how Gir had managed to get them both outside. Gir was bouncing along in his little green dog suit, keeping the leash that Zim held taunt. Zim was disguised an old man with a white beard, floppy brown hat with a flower jutting from it, and a long brown coat. His large eyes glanced around at the filthy humans passing by. A small girl being pulled along by her mother, stopped to reach out and pet Gir. "Don't touch Gir, disgusting human worm child!" Zim yelled, jerking Gir back. The girl began to cry, as did Gir, while the mother tried to calm down her daughter. Zim rushed forward, dragging Gir behind. 

Gir was crying, though it didn't know why, but the building that it was dragged by quickly averted its short attention span. "Lookie." It whispered, resisting the pull of the leash to press itself against the window. "What now, Gir?" Zim snapped, turning to see what was wrong with the robot now. Gir had its face practically plastered against a bakery window, its eyes even wider with glee. There was a large display in the window, ranging from cupcakes to cookies, all of which, Gir wanted. Zim hissed, tugging firmly on the leash. "Gir, you aren't getting any of that, so keep moving!" 

"Awww, master, I want a cupcake! And a cookie! And a cake! And a pie..." 

Ten minutes later... 

"...And a donut! And a muffin! And a cream-" 

"Gir!" 

"-Puff." 

Zim took a deep breath, "Gir, I command you to follow me!" But Gir had replaced its face back to the window and didn't hear Zim. "Now Gir, obey your master! That's me, Zim, your master!" His voice had accelerated to a booming voice. It didn't affect Gir in the least, so Zim decided plan B. Pull the leash until Gir moved. Zim dug his heels into the concrete, leaning as far back as he could on the leash, clutching the leash in both hands, and pulling. "Gir...move...now...or...else...I...wil-ah!" Zim sailed backward through the air as the leash snapped. Humans that had been walking by stopped to stare at Zim. The alien, suddenly feeling under pressure, jumped up, grasping the leash, began to run. He was surprised to find no resistance, and figuring that Gir had finally decided to obey, raced off with a frayed end of leash dragging behind. 


	4. Cupcake Bribery

Untitled 

Dib grumbled loudly about his little sister and dire need for soda. "Doesn't she know that I'm trying to save mankind, including her? But no, she'd rather have a soda then save all of earth!" His voiced had escalated to that of a loud yell, and Dib found himself being stared at- well, more or less, gaped at. "Um…heh, he he he." He stammered embarrassedly, before hurrying around the corner. "If only they knew what I was talking about, if only I could make them see." He growled, pushing off the wall and continuing to the store. He growled, grumbled, and growled some more about having a little sister. 

He passed the bakery, eyeing all the food piled up in the window, and smiled at a little green dog that was rooted in front of the window. He rounded another corner, seeing the store he was headed for in sight, when it hit him. "That is Zim's dog, robot, strange little device thingy!" He twirled on his heel, racing back to the spot where he had seen the cute little green dog. It hadn't moved a centimeter, its eyes wide and transfixed on the delicious foods before it, only a thin piece of glass separating them. "Hey there…uh…Gir? Yeah, Gir, that's your name. Hi." Gir slowly tore his gaze off of the food and up at Dib. "I know youuu, you're Zim's friend." 

"Right, right, Zim's friend. Yes, I'm his friend, not archrival, but friend." Dib said, nodding eagerly, an idea forming in his mind. "Oh, by the way, where is Zim?" He asked casually, his eyes darting about. Gir stuck one clothed black paw out, "Over there, no wait, over there, no wait, I don't know. He left me. All alone." Gir looked saddened, but then perked up, and returned to gawking at the bakery display window. Dib grinned, an evil grin, while rubbing his hands together. "So you like cupcakes, Gir?" 

"Yes, I love cupcakes. I miss my old one…" 

"What if you got a new one?" 

Gir's eyes went wide with wonder and amazement; Dib's grin grew. "That's right, a whole bunch of new ones." Gir began to stutter, staring from the window display, then back at Dib. "Do you want a bunch of cupcakes, Gir?" Dib asked, leaning forward in his eagerness. Gir's voice was quiet, "Master said that I'm not suppose to talk to strangers…" Dib cringed. "…But, I know you." And with that, Gir began to nod madly. 

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	5. Wanted: Missing Gir

Untitled 

Invader Zim- Gir's Day Out 

Disclaimer- I don't own any Zim stuff only Jhonen Vasquez 

Wanted: Missing Gir 

Zim was beginning to worry about Gir; the crazy little robot hadn't made a single noise since the bakery. `Maybe I could have let him have one cupcake…' Zim thought then growled audibly as another filthy human stared at him. It seemed that these humans had been gawking at him for a long time, and Zim was growing very upset. Was his contact haywire, was an antenna showing? He shrugged it off; earthanoids were always staring at something. 

Then Zim heard the clap of thunder causing him to scream. This only brought more attention upon himself, but that was the least of his worries since he hadn't brought any paste. The first raindrop hurtled down at earth, aiming straight for Zim, which he quickly leaped out of its way. "Gir, take me home!" 

There was no response from the other end of the leash. 

Zim yanked on the leash, ordering once again, "Take me home now, Gir!" 

No response. 

"Gir?" The alien twisted his head around with the intentions of screaming at his minion and his slowness when he saw the shredded end of leash he had been dragging around for the last half an hour. Zim growled, "Gir when I get my hands on you, your in for a lot of do—Ouch! Ow!" His impending doom for Gir speech was cut short as droplets of moisture fell onto the delicate Irken skin. "Ow! -- Ah! —No!" He squealed as he dodged the falling `bullets of wet doom'. 

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a human- a dry human- with an umbrella. Zim's eyes gleamed as he raced under the umbrella. "Unleash the umbrella human slime monkey!" He commanded, snatching the umbrella's handle and scurrying home, avoiding every puddle along the way. 

The human whose umbrella had been stolen fell into a puddle before starting to whimper. 

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	6. Angry Sisters and Cheesy Cobs

Invader Zim- Gir's Day Out   
  
Angry Sisters and Cheesy Cobs   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zim, Dib, Gir, or Gaz, but the Cheesy Cobs I do own. They are kind of like cheetoes, so feel free to use them in any of your fics! Mmmm, cheesy cobs.   
  
Dib was having a hard time not gagging as he handed yet another cupcake back to the green puppy trailing after him. The sounds Gir made while eating was disgusting, but would really disgust Dib later would be when he saw all the cupcake crumbs splattered over the back of his trench coat. "But it's all worth it when I see Zim's guts all over that autopsy table." Dib said darkly, an evil grin spreading across his face. "What about master?" Gir chirped, not noticing the crumbs that spewed from his mouth. "Uh, nothing Gir. Oh look, we're almost home." Dib sighed with relief at the comforting sight of his home. Gir bounced up and down, "Yay, I can watch the Scary Monkey Show then!" Dib paused, frowning, "Yeah, sure, of course you can watch the Monkey show…or whatever you called it." He swung open the front door, and ushered the little robot in.   
Gaz had the television on, even though she was in the kitchen collecting snack foods. "Finally! I was starting to hope that Zim or something zapped you. Where's my soda?" She yelled, her voice muffled by the pile of food she had cradled in her arms. She dumped it all on the couch, catching Gir's attention, and turned to her brother. "Well?" She folded her arms, raising an angry eyebrow. "Oh, right, your soda. You won't believe this, but I was going to get your soda when I passed Zim's robot thing. And then I was hit with this brilliant-"   
"I don't care. Where. Is. My. Soda?"   
"Still at the store. Cupcake?"   
"WHAT? YOU WENT TO THE STORE, AND COME BACK HALF AN HOUR LATER WITH A BOX OF CUPCAKES?"   
"Yeah, but I also brought home Gir."   
Gaz stalked over to her brother, eyes narrowed to small slits. "I said I wanted a soda, and I meant it. Now go get me one."   
"Gaz, come on. So I drank your last soda! You'll live."   
"Yes, but you won't."   
"Eek, ok, I'm going. Watch Gir for me Gaz. Make sure he doesn't do anything bad." With that, Dib ran out of the house, and back to the store.   
Gir had situated himself on the couch, surrounded by junk food, with the Scary Monkey show shining on the television. "I'm so happy." He murmured, a tear of joy streaming down his face. Then he screamed and dove into a bag of Cheesy Cobs. "Hey, get your paws off my Cheesy Cobs!" Gaz yelled, dragging Gir out of the bag by his tail. His mouth was filled with the cheesy substance, as was the rest of his body. "Aww, but they are so good. Oooo, what's this?" Using his greased up paws, Gir grabbed Gaz's game slave.   
A loud scream filled the air, followed by insane giggles from a dog. 


	7. Curse the Rain

Invader Zim-Gir's Day Out  
  
Curse the Rain  
  
Zim grimaced; grinding his zipper-like teeth together as yet another raindrop hit him. "Why do you not protect me, idiotic human contraption?" he yelled up at the umbrella, scurrying down the street. The alien looked up, seeing the comforting green glow of his house long before he actually saw the house itself. "You like your human master better than me, don't you? Huh? You will pay!" He threw the umbrella to the ground and began to jump on it. Of course, this left him completely exposed to the rain, which he realized three seconds later. "Ow! Noo! Will the pain never cease?"  
  
He raced through the men's bathroom door, which served the purpose of a front door, slamming it closed behind him. "Computer, dry me off." He croaked out, standing hunched over. A tube lowered from the ceiling, encasing itself around Zim. A warm brisk air then filled the tube, but became large gusts. Zim was thrown around the tube, his screams not heard through the thick plastic. The winds abruptly stopped, letting the alien to drop to the floor, as the tube disappeared back into the mass of wires that was the ceiling.  
  
He staggered up. His black wig was lying on the floor by his feet, his contacts lopsided. "Thanks.computer." He wheezed, stumbling over towards the kitchen. "Now, to find Gir." He jumped into the toilet bowl that was located in the kitchen, and flushed himself down into his lab.  
  
"I'll do a scan of the area for him, first. Then, once the rain stops, I'll go collect him. Once I get my hands on that robot." He sighed, plopping down into a chair that rested in front of a large terminal. "Computer, locate Gir!" A map of the city appeared on the screen, and a few seconds later a red dot appeared. "Hmm.wait a minute! That's Dib's house!" Zim yelped, leaning forward to stare at the screen. "Computer, are you sure that's where Gir is?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Oh I should have known that earth bug was involved! He must have kidnapped poor Gir." Zim stood, marching over to one of the many tubes that led to various levels of his underground lab. "I have to let Gir know I'll save him. Then, I'll destroy that.Dib.once and for all." He jumped into the tube, allowing it to suck him up to another level. There was another computer terminal, this one with a microphone jutting from the side. "Computer, contact Gir."  
  
There was a pause, "Helllooooo?"  
  
"Gir, you're alright!"  
  
"Master! Hiiii! I'm having fun with Dib's sister! Want to play with us?"  
  
Zim rolled his eyes, "No! Ah, so Gaz is watching you. Hmm, I wonder where Dib is then." Suddenly a large crash came over the intercom, and the sound of a very annoyed human girl. "Gir, what's going on over there?"  
  
"Ummm, Master, I broke somethin'...again. I have to go, come over and play with us! It'll be so much fun!" Another crash followed.  
  
"Transmission Disconnected." The computer informed Zim. "What? No, reconnect! Reconnect!"  
  
"Unable to contact Gir." The computer replied in the monotone voice. Zim growled, "They must have done something to Gir! I must go save him. Computer, take me up top."  
  
Zim crawled out of the trashcan, running to the front door, whipping it open, and running out. A few seconds later he ran back in screaming, and wet. "Curse the rain! Now I must go submerged myself in that awful glue substance. Computer, take me to the glue! And hurry, Gir might be in trouble!" 


	8. Don't Shake Your Soda

Invader Zim-Gir's Day Out  
  
Don't Shake Your Soda  
  
Dib was still grumbling as he walked down the street, his arms full of soda cans. His grumbling was paused, though, when he heard screams. He blinked, lowering his arms so he could see over the cans. "Hm, that sounds like Gaz." He mumbled, but then shook the thought away. He was still three blocks from home. But the screams became louder as the blocks became shorter. As he neared his house, he could tell that it was Gaz screaming from inside his house. Crashes followed the screams, and another mixture of noises. "Oh no! ZIM!" Dib yelped, racing the last few feet home. He crashed through the front door to see.  
  
Gaz chasing Gir around the couch as the robot clutched her Game Slave. "I'll rip you to shreds when I catch you!" Gaz yelled, once again diving for the green puppy. Gir giggled eagerly, jumping up so Gaz missed. "I love this game!" He squealed, thinking that it was all a big game of tag. He waved the Game Slave in the air as he hopped on the couch, jumping up and down.  
  
Dib grimaced; he couldn't let his sister touch the robot. If she did, well, Dib didn't have the time to put all its circuits back together. "Um, I'm back with your soda Gaz." He announced attentively. He watched as his sister pushed herself off the ground, her purple hair a mess and hanging in front of her narrowed eyes. "That dog has my Game Slave. Return it to me, now, or I'll rip its tail off and use it to hang that thing!" She yelled, glaring up at the bouncing Gir. He now had two cupcakes in his mouth while studying the game consul in his paws. Dib dropped the sodas on the ground, walking slowly toward Gir. "Hey Gir, why don't you give me that Game Slave?" He suggested, stretching his hands out.  
  
A cupcake was placed in each hand.  
  
"No, Gir, the Game Slave. Yes, that thing in your hands. Give it to me, and I'll give you a soda. Ok?"  
  
"Sodaaaa!" Gir screeched, tossing the Game Slave over his shoulder to dive at the cans piled on the floor. Gaz reached forward with lightning speed, catching her precious game, only to shutter with disgust. Greasy finger marks and cupcake crumbs caked the whole machine. She walked over to her brother, grabbing the edge of his trench coat and using it as a rag to wipe off her Game Slave. She calmly picked up a can by her feet and proceeded to the kitchen without another word.  
  
Dib looked at his trench coat in disgust at the spot where Gaz had used it to clean off her game. "Now I have to get this dry cleaned." He whined, turning to look at his charge. Gir was rolling the cans along the floor, screaming with joy when they hit the wall. His dog eyes grew wide as an idea entered his simple mind. He laid down in the mass of cans and began to roll with them, repeatedly bumping into the wall. "Are you sure you are alien technology?" Dib asked, his face showing his obvious doubt.  
  
"I think so. I don't know. I like soda." Gir replied, hitting the wall in- between each sentence. Dib opened his mouth to reply but was cut off as his sister's screams once again filled the house. He crept forward to peer in the kitchen, and stifled a laugh at the sight before him.  
  
Gaz had taken her soda into the kitchen, but upon opening it, became drenched in the sticky brown liquid. Gir had shaken her can one to many times. "Dib, I'm going to destroy you and your dog friend!" She vowed, grabbing a towel to dry herself off with. "Come on, let's go to my room." Dib said, grabbing Girl's arm and racing to his room, shutting and locking the door securely. He leaned against the door as Gaz pounded on the other side. He sighed with relief as the doorbell rang, forcing his sister to leave them alone. "I'll be back." She swore before heading down the steps to see who had interrupted her soon-to-be massacre.  
  
Dib pushed himself off the door, only to stumble back against it. In a short period of time, Gir had already managed to trash his room! Clothes lay scattered across his bed, desk, and floor. Important papers on alien research were strewn everywhere. Dib could feel his jaw drop as anger boiled in his body. "There's no way that robot is worth all this trouble." He thought aloud, but quickly corrected himself, "Calm down Dib, you know he is. Seeing Zim's alien guts all over an autopsy is worth this and much more."  
  
Upon hearing his master's name, Gir's head popped out from under the bed. His green suit was wet with a brown substance. Dib walked over, kneeling down to Gir's eye level. "Gir, what are you covered in?"  
  
"Sodaaaa! And dust ball.things. Your dust balls got all wet when I opened my soda, though." Gir said, disappearing under the bed again. Dib lay on his stomach, crawling forward to peer under his bed. Everything under his bed, the carpet, mattress, and whatever else he had under there was covered in soda. "Zim's guts on an autopsy table, Zim's guts on an autopsy table." He mumbled over and over as Gir rolled out from under the bed to cause more destruction to the bedroom. 


	9. Beware Riding the Bus

Invader Zim- Gir's Day Out  
  
Beware Riding the Bus  
  
"Disgusting human white substance." Zim growled, spiting out what glue had landed in his mouth. He held in the urge to yell more at the glue and his weak need to use it. "I must save Gir!" He reminded himself, heading toward the elevator. Quickly, he popped out from under the kitchen table, narrowly missing bumping his head on it. He trudged over to the door, pulling it open and looking hesitantly out at the rain. It hadn't let up any, and he was a tad nervous about heading out into the falling bullets of doom.  
  
"But I have to save Gir. That nasty Dib is probably experimenting evil experiments on him! Here I come!" He rushed out into the rain without a second thought.including the thought to close the door.  
  
The rain bounced off Zim's protected body harmlessly, allowing the Irken to smile slightly. But, as he ran, Zim began to notice his legs were sticking together. "What? What is this?" He hollered, struggling to pull them apart. An agitated growl escaped his throat, and two of his spider legs appeared from his backpack pod. The metal legs pulled the real legs apart, but then couldn't release themselves from the sticky fabric. "This is.not good." Zim waddled over to a side alley.  
  
His spider legs were secured to the gluey pants. "I curse this foul sticky substance! It brings more bad then good!" Zim calmed down immediately, knowing that yelling wouldn't help the situation. It took a good five minutes before the spider legs were restored to their spots in the pod, along with shreds of Zim's pants. The alien looked down at the two holes in his uniform angrily, realizing his skin had not been glued there. "If I go out in the rain, then those bullets will surely find my weakness. And how can I save Gir if my legs are all burny?" He tapped a finger against his forehead, musing quietly. "The bus! I'll take the bus!"  
  
Zim raced to the nearest bus stop, running in a strange manner so the least amount of rain would fall on his exposed legs. By the time he had jumped into the bus, after pushing a nun out of the way, long tendrils of smoke were rising from his lower half. "Here . . . is your . . . currency that you require." He wheezed, throwing the money at the bus driver. "Next time put it in the collection box, jerk." The bus driver hissed under her breath. Zim was to exhausted, and engulfed in pain to make any remark. He collapsed on a chair, not even noticing all the disturbing noises that surrounded him.  
  
The bus bumped along the busy streets uncomfortably. If Zim had been aware, which he wasn't, he might have realized passed by his target four times. Around the sixth time, he did realize and prepared to get off. "What's this?" He yelped as he realized he couldn't get up.  
  
"Try unbuckling." The bus driver sneered.  
  
"There is no buckles human driver!" Zim grabbed the seat in front of him and heaved. His hindquarters remained stuck to the seat.  
  
"Everyone off that wants off!" The driver called out, momentarily braking before slamming on the acceleration again. "No, wait stink beast!" Zim ordered, still trying to stand. "You'll have to wait until next time you slacker." The driver replied uncaringly. Zim grumbled an Irken curse under his breath, glaring at the driver's back. He then turned his attention to becoming unstuck from the chair.  
  
He tried everything he could think of (except for things that would expose him as an alien) to get off the chair, but the glue was very effective. Zim glanced out the window and realized that the next stop would be the one he wanted. "Release me evil bus bench!" He yelled again, but to no avail. Finally, after much more ordering of release, a laser appeared from his pod and began to saw at the bench.  
  
"Everyone off!" The driver hollered, once again only slowing down instead of stopping. This time, Zim was ready. He sprang through the doors, rolling to a stop on the sidewalk. "Earth needs a new means of transportation." He muttered, dusting himself off and heading down the street. Just two houses away he could see Dib's house, and hear screams in the air. "Poor Gir!" He wailed, beginning to run. He raced up to the windows, looking in and seeing nothing.  
  
Slowly he moved to the front door, staring at his old rival: the doorbell. With a shaky hand, he pressed it. A few moments later Gaz appeared with a more-than-usual sour expression. "Zim. What do you want? And why do you have part of bus bench stuck to your butt?"  
  
Zim shifted uncomfortably in embarrassment, "It doesn't matter, Gaz. I'm here to collect, or save whichever it may be, Gir!" He stood proud, trying to look threatening with the chair attached firmly to his backside. Gaz raised an eyebrow slightly, chuckled and allowed Zim in. "Whatever, take him home. And if you don't, I'll tear it apart and mail it to you." She turned on her heel, yelling up to Dib about having a visitor, and went into the kitchen.  
  
Zim sniffed the air where Gaz had just stood. Was that . . . soda he smelled? Earthanoids did have strange means of making themselves smell "good".  
  
"Zim!" The alien looked up at the caller of his name, glowering a reply, "Dib." 


End file.
